Well..

Wow I'm actually blogging more than once in one day!! But anyway this is what I was gonna talk about in my last blog but I got caught up in all that other stuff.

There's this guy. I have liked him forever but he doesn't know I EXIST. I know it's all cliqued quiet girl likes the perfect guy who ignores her but unlike in the movies I'm never going to end up finding out he secretly like me back because he blatantly doesn't. He doesn't give 2 shits about me, and I don't blame him. He shouldn't have to. But it just breaks my heart that it is this way. We used to talk slightly in the past but everything's changed and we barely acknowledge each others existence, well at least I pretend not to. It kills me inside not being able to just go up to him and talk to him, not because I'm too shy (which I am) but it would be too obvious that I like him because of the person I have made myself into. The kind of person who just sticks to her group of friends and doesn't really talk to anyone else. And my group of friends doesn't really include any guys, and I hate that. And because of the awkward person I am, I appear stuck up and unapproachable to others, so no one outside my friendship group makes the effort to get to know me. I don't exactly make an effort either, I know, but it's so impossible for me. It would be too awkward and weird and I wouldn't know how to fit in with them. So if I just go up to him and say "Hey how's it going?" He's gonna be all in his head why the hell is this person talking to me. I mean if I did that to everyone it would seem normal but I don't so it wouldn't.

Every time I see him talking to other girls my heart just aches because I know there's nothing going on between them but the thought that there could be. I don't know what's wrong with me but I often get obsessed with things that I like, and my brain had just obsessed over the thought that we're going to be together one day even though I know it will never happen, but I just can't help it. I'm just so glad no one can read minds, because if anyone actually knew what goes on in my imagination I would die of embarrassment.